Your Emotional Safe Place
Emotions are inclined to dominate our actions and reactions, even though we like to claim otherwise. Society oftentimes sees emotions as a sign of weakness, so we became used to setting them to the side and try to stay focused on the rational aspects more and more. But no matter how strict and logical you choose to be, you will always be a human being, not a robot, and so you will always have emotions.
Positive emotions are a life long goal for a large number of us. What is more necessary, in the end: how much income you generated during your lifespan or how many times you laughed? Nonetheless, people are inclined to put their positive emotions underneath the dark shadow of their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems we come across during our lives. There is no obvious way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with positive ones. It just doesn’t work that way.
As a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be extremely sad. Your parents will definately purchase you a new goldfish, but the sadness still takes ages to go away. Things get even more serious with adults. A fight with your mate the night before will ruin your whole day. You will go to work angry, tired, with your thoughts wandering. Then you will go home with an even worse mood. On the way from work towards home you won’t be able to take notice of the sun shining and you won’t be tempted to stop at the corner store and find your favorite ice cream. All that because that one negative thought is contaminating the way you perceive the reality around you.
At this moment you will feel that creating a safe place to relax your mind would do wonders. And that place is pretty easy to find. It can be an actual location or an imaginary place. The best idea is to totally emerge yourself in it. Let’s say you have a problem on your mind and it just won’t go away. Go bowling! You don’t know how to bowl, you say? No problem, go out and try it! Get caught up in the game, think about those silly looking shoes, pick out a favorite ball, make up new strategies to throw and so on. Your mind will suddenly move from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a totally new kind of information.
A safe place can acquire many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person. The most crucial thing is to allow yourself to become completely involved with this new activity. You can still get flashes of the problem every now and then – brush off them and get even more involved in what you are doing.
When the bowling game, the song, the movie or the conversation ends you will have a rather abrupt return to your problems. You will most likely feel gloomy and want to go back to the safe place. Don’t do that. The safe place lives only as a helping hand, not as a solution to every one of your problems. It is there to help you relax your thought patterns, for a few minutes or hours.
This is a vital stage in your solution to what is depressing you. You will come back from your safe place with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and have more confidence that any obstacle can be resolved. This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your fighting energy and allow you to solve even the most difficult problems.
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