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The Power of Charisma

Keeping Your Thoughts Positive

Emotions have the tendency to dominate our actions and reactions, despite the fact we like to deny it. Society often sees emotions as a sign of weakness, so we grew used to putting them to the side and try to concentrate on the rational aspects more and more. But no matter how strict and logical you want to be, you will always be a human being, not a robot, and so you will always feel emotion.

Positive emotions are a lofty goal for some of us. What is more essential, in the end: how much cash you made during your lifespan or how many times you expressed joy? Even so, people are inclined to put their positive emotions inside the dark shadow of their negative feelings. This is one of the most prominent problems we come across during our lives. There is no sure plan to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with positive ones. It just doesn’t work this way.

As a kid, if your goldfish dies, you would be extremely sad. Your parents will certainly find you a new goldfish, but the grief still takes weeks to go away. Things get even more serious with adults. A fight with your spouse the night before will ruin your whole day. You will go to work angry, tired, with your thoughts wandering. Then you will go home with an even worse mood. On the way from work towards home you won’t be able to appreciate the sun shining and you won’t be tempted to stop at the store and purchase your favorite ice cream. All that because that one negative thought is contaminating the way you perceive the reality around you.

At this point you will feel that finding a safe place to relax your mind would do wonders. And that place is pretty easy to find. It may be an actual location or an imaginary place. The best idea is to totally emerge yourself in it. Let’s say you have a problem on your mind and it just won’t go away. Go bowling! You don’t know how to bowl, you say? No problem, go out and try it! Get caught up in the game, think about those ugly shoes, select a favorite ball, play around with new strategies to throw and so on. Your mind will suddenly move from the negative thoughts that took over your last hours or days and start processing a whole new type of information.

A safe place can find many shapes. It can be a song, a movie, even a person. The primary thing is to permit yourself to get completely involved with this new activity. You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then – brush off them and get even more involved in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, the movie or the conversation ends you will have a rather abrupt return to your problems. You will in all likelihood feel upset and want to go back to the safe place. Don’t do that. The safe place is used as only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your problems. It is there to help you relax your brain, for a few minutes or hours.

This is a critical stage in your solution to what is troubling you. You will return from your safe place with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and obtain more confidence that any problem can be resolved. This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your fighting energy and allow you to solve even the most difficult problems.

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