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The Power of Charisma

Emotional Safe Keeping

Emotions tend to hijack our actions and reactions, even though we prefer to deny it. Society oftentimes sees emotions as a sign of weakness, so we grew used to putting them to the side and try to stay focused on the rational aspects more and more. But no matter how strict and rational you choose to be, you will always be a human being, instead of a robot, and so you will always feel emotion.

Positive emotions are a lofty goal for a large number of us. What is more necessary, in the long term: how much cash you generated during your lifetime or how many times you laughed? However, people tend to put their positive emotions in the dark shadow of their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems we come across during our lives. There is no definate gameplan to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with positive ones. It just doesn’t work this way.

As a kid, if your goldfish dies, you would be extremely sad. Your parents will surely buy you another goldfish, but the grief still takes what seems like years to go away. Things get even more serious with adults. A fight with your partner the night before will cloud your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, with your thoughts wandering. Then you will go home with an even worse mood. On the way from work towards home you won’t be able to take notice of the sun shining and you won’t be tempted to stop at the supermarket and get your favorite ice cream. All these because that one negative thought is contaminating the way you perceive the reality around you.

When this happens you will feel that finding a safe place to relax your mind would do wonders. And that place is pretty easy to locate. It might be an actual location or an imaginary place. The best idea is to totally submerge yourself in it. Let’s say you have a problem on your mind and it just won’t go away. Go bowling! You don’t know how to bowl, you say? No problem, go out and try it! Get caught up in the game, think about those ugly looking shoes, pick out a favorite ball, cook up new strategies to throw and so on. Your mind will suddenly jump from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.

A safe place can get many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person. The important thing is to let yourself to get completely involved with this new activity. You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then – forget about them and get even more involved in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, the movie or the conversation ends you will have a rather abrupt return to your problems. You will in all likelihood feel gloomy and want to go back to the safe place. Don’t do that. The safe place is there only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your problems. It is there to help you relax your thought patterns, for a few minutes or hours.

This is a crucial stage in your solution to what is depressing you. You will return from your safe place with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and obtain more confidence that any obstacle can be settled. This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your fighting energy and allow you to solve even the most difficult problems.

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