Creating a Safe Place for your Emotions
Emotions have the tendency to dominate our actions and reactions, despite the fact we like to deny it. Society oftentimes sees emotions as a sign of mental weakness, so we got used to setting them away and try to concentrate on the rational aspects more and more. But no matter how strict and logical you want to be, you will always be a human being, not a robot, and so you will always have emotions.
Positive emotions are a lofty goal for most of us. What is more necessary, in the end: how much money you generated during your lifespan or how many times you expressed joy? Even so, people have the tendency to put their positive emotions inside the dark shadow of their negative feelings. This is one of the largest problems we come across during our lives. There is no visible way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with positive ones. It just doesn’t work this way.
As a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be extremely sad. Your parents will probably find you a new goldfish, but the sorrow still takes weeks to go away. Things get even more serious with adults. A fight with your spouse the night before will ruin your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, with your thoughts wandering. Then you will go home with an even worse mood. On the way from work towards home you won’t be able to see the sun shining and you won’t be tempted to stop at the grocery store and buy your favorite ice cream. All these because that one negative thought is contaminating the way you perceive the reality around you.
When this happens you will feel that finding a safe place to relax your mind would do wonders. And that place is actually easy to go to. It can be an actual location or an imaginary place. The best idea is to totally emerge yourself in it. Let’s say you have a problem on your mind and it just won’t go away. Go bowling! You don’t know how to bowl, you say? No problem, go out and try it! Get caught up in the game, think about those funny shoes, pick out a favorite ball, invent new strategies to throw and so on. Your mind will suddenly jump from the negative thoughts that took over your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.
A safe place can develop many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person. The primary thing is to let yourself to become completely involved with this new activity. You may still get flashes of the problem every now and then – forget about them and get even more involved in what you are doing.
When the bowling game, the song, the movie or the conversation ends you will have a rather abrupt return to your problems. You will quite possibly feel upset and want to go back to the safe place. Don’t do that. The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to all of your problems. It is there to help you relax your thought patterns, for a few minutes or hours.
This is a vital stage in your solution to what is bothering you. You will come back from your safe place with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and obtain more confidence that any obstacle can be settled. This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your fighting energy and allow you to solve even the most difficult problems.
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Creating a Safe Place for your Emotions
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